Older Toddlers!

Sleep

Recommended sleep in 24 hours: 11-14 hours (NSF, 2015)

Average night sleep: 10-11 hours (Paavonen et al., 2020, Mindell et al., 2010)

Average day sleep: 2-3 hours in 1 nap (Paavonen et al., 2020, Mindell et al., 2010)

Typical awake time: 4-6 hours

Challenging sleep time: around 18-months

Notes on this age:

One large study reported 26.6% of toddlers had nightly awakenings at 18 months (Hysing et al., 2014).
Another large study found the average number of wakes in 18-month old was 1.1 per night, meaning a good number of toddlers were waking more while others were sleeping through the night (Paavonen et al., 2020).

18 months is usually the earliest gentle parenting professionals recommend night weaning.
Many parents and toddlers continue nursing to sleep and night feeds, and this is normal. You do not need to night wean if breastfeeding at night works for you.
Nursing or not, many toddlers still wake at night as outlined above.
By 18-months most children nap only once, but it varies.
Enough movement, outside time, control in life, and connection with parents all affect sleep.

Recommended sleep in 24 hours: 11-14 hours (NSF, 2015)

Average night sleep: 10-12 hours (Paavonen et al., 2020, Mindell et al., 2010)

Average day sleep: 1-2 hours in 1 nap (Paavonen et al., 2020, Mindell et al., 2010)

Typical awake time: 5-7 hours

Challenging sleep time: 2 years and 2 ½ years

Notes on this age:

Between 2-3, toddlers may be more likely to sleep all night without parent support.
According to one large study 28.4% of 2-year-olds had frequent night awakenings (Paavonen et al. 2020). 24-month-old babies still wake on average 0.9 times a night (Paavonen et al., 2020).
Night waking is still normal, especially if nursing and or bedsharing (likely our biological norm).
It’s normal to still breastfeed to sleep or nurse at night if you want to continue.
Toddler may drop the nap after the age of 2.5 or may continue napping into the preschool years.
Sleep is linked to behavior and life transitions. Potty training, new siblings, and starting preschool can all disrupt sleep.
Enough movement, outside time, control in life, and connection with parents all affect sleep.

Recommended sleep in 24 hours: 10-13 hours (NSF, 2015)

Average night sleep: 10-13 hours

Average day sleep: naps stop at some point

Typical awake time: 6 hours to all day

Notes on this age:

Ability for nighttime potty training starts to emerge, but bed wetting is still common until 7.
Child will drop the nap at some point during this time.
This is a common age for night terrors and nightmares.
Potty training, new siblings, and starting preschool can all disrupt sleep.
While sleep may be less intense than the baby and toddler years, waking and sleep struggles still happen.
Enough movement, outside time, control in life, and connection with parents all affect sleep.
Quiet time may be a good nap replacement.

If you are still nursing your older toddler you are not alone! You may only nurse once a day, or you may have a toddler still very focused on nursing. Nursing limits are very appropriate. Nursing is a relationship and your needs matter too.
Some older toddlers eat a lot, while others are picky. It’s normal for some previously open minded eaters to go through a picky phase.
Offer a wide variety of foods to your toddler, and look for a well-rounded diet over the course of a week, not a meal or even a day.

Older toddlers are full of energy, rapidly growing language skills, limit testing, emerging autonomy, and big emotions.

We often expect way too much from our older toddlers, and remembering where they are developmentally helps set everyone up for success.
Toddlers cannot control their emotions. Emotion regulation begins to emerge around 3.5-4 years old, but this is a skill that develops throughout childhood. Learning to emotion coach your toddler is an important skill.
Toddlers do not begin to have impulse control until around 3.5-4 years old. This skill develops throughout childhood. Create yes spaces as much as possible.
A toddlers ability to share begins to emerge around 3-4 years old.
Toddlers need to feel a sense of power and control over their life. Give them choices whenever possible.
Play is an amazing tool to help your toddler through transitions and activities they don’t really want to do.

Your toddler has a lot of energy and a need to move. Get them out running, climbing, pushing, pulling, and roughhousing.
Older toddlers begin imaginary play and even begin pretending one thing is another thing in their play.
Sensory play with sand, playdough, or water play can keep your toddler busy.
Reading, music, and singing together are always great activities.
Many toddlers love to build with blocks or the larger legos.
Let your toddler guide play, following their lead and asking questions.
Clean up or other household chores can be play. Have them be the scooper upper or pretend they are a digger excavating their toys to relocate them to the bin.
Toddlers have more interest in playing near or with others. Typically they play around other kids, parallel play, then kind of with others, before eventually playing in a more cooperative way.
Here’s a great resource on play and development: https://www.zerotothree.org/resources/315-stages-of-play-from-24-36-months-the-world-of-imagination

Go to…